Saturday, December 13, 2014

Analysis of the Self: The Circumstances of Service

While it is important to look at things on a case by case basis, people will generally fall into two categories: those who normally accept help and those who do not. Now help can be a vague word. It is normally about aiding a person so that he or she can reach a goal that would be difficult alone, but the subject matter is diverse. In fact, the help could be for something the individual did not know they were struggling with. So the type of help given falls under a few categories, and it is up to the individual if it is welcome or not. They are the following:

1. Solicited help for a known objective.
2. Solicited help for an unknown objective.
3. Unsolicited help for a known objective.
4. Unsolicited help for an unknown objective.

Known objectives are clear goals an individual has or is tasked with. Unknown objectives are unclear issues which need addressing. You may understand the nature of the goal or problem, but cannot pinpoint an exact cause, effect, need or solution. Solicited help is help that is asked for, while unsolicited help is not asked for, but can still be desired.

Naturally, the first kind of help is the easiest to understand. You are attempting to accomplish a specific task, but are unable to do it on your own, so you request aid. The second example is when someone requests help for a vague problem, or a clear problem with an unclear solution. Such issues are usually long-term in nature, as time is often a factor influencing the problem and its solution. The third example is when someone is pursuing a goal on their own and is helped along the way by another. Here, the second person normally has a clear understanding of what the first person is trying to accomplish. The last example is the trickiest, where someone attempts to help another with a problem either one or both cannot pinpoint, using a solution that may not even be appropriate. In this case, even when an objective is cleared, the help becomes labeled as unwelcome.

Of course, all examples of help may not be desired. Pride, or a desire for self-sufficiency, will keep a person from asking or accepting aid. And even when one does ask for help, the person may not be happy about it. A person's attitude may also depend on the exact solution to the problem, and if that solution is undesired, then he or she will certainly be livid when another solves the problem in the perceived negative way (the situation becoming even worse when it is unsolicited help). You cannot always know how a person will react to being helped, and you certainly cannot expect to thanked every time. This is even more clear when you consider that there are at least two different categories of help: performing an action and providing information.

A physical action may be necessary to help someone, but if the solution is only reached through thought, it may require more information. Both forms of help work with the four examples above, creating eight different situations to be analyzed, but there are some general trends. If a physical action is performed on behalf of another, even if it is unsolicited, the person receiving the help will show some form of gratitude (though whether that is genuine or not is another question). However, if information is provided to someone instead, there is a higher chance for dissatisfaction.

Provided information can easily be something a person does not wish to hear. It could be because this person feels they could have come up with the same answer. It could be because it is something they already thought of and are wanting to hear something new. Unsolicited advice/information is most notably something that is frowned upon, and even solicited help may be looked down on if it does not provide a new perspective. A person generally doesn't know if what they provide will actually be accepted, but it is commonplace that the provider feels their attempt to help should be respected. Ultimately, it depends on the relationship between the two before it can be judged who is being improper in such a circumstance. One may feel the need to always give unsolicited advice, and do such automatically without thinking. Another may despise repeated information, and reject anything they have already heard. It should be noted that such possibilities are not reasons to avoid serving others, and are also not reasons for getting angry at those simply trying to aid you. Not all help may be seen in a positive light, but no form of help is absolutely negative either, as one would not offer to help in the first place without any good intentions.

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