Sunday, May 4, 2014

The Burden Series: Honesty

The topic may not seem clear as I start, but it will make sense as I go on. Here is a quote from another one of those Facebook memes/pictures I have learned to hate recently.

"People who use a lot swear words tend to be more honest and trustworthy, human behavioral studies suggest."

Let's temporarily forget that the behavioral studies are not linked and that this sentence appears to suggest that swearing makes you more honest. Let's explore the topic of swearing for a second. There are usually three forms of swearing:

1. In response to a result, usually existing as an expression of frustration thanks to a setback. Seen as a lack of self-consciousness.
2. Swearing at someone, also existing primarily through the expression of frustration, but can also be used for the sake of being rude. Seen as a lack of respect.
3. Swearing for the sake of swearing, primarily harsh words used unnecessarily. Seen as a lack of dignity.

Number two is usually perceived as mean, and number three is seen as distasteful. I swear frequently in response to setbacks, but usually when I am alone. It allows me to vent anger through language instead of people physically destructive. But I do not act this way in front of others, or at least not initially. I study my interactions with everyone and determine how to respond. Yes, I can manipulate my social interactions so that people see me in a certain light, but it is up to them to make certain assumptions. I am not less honest or trustworthy for be conscious of my behavior and choosing how to act, but it is likely that those who wish to be devious will hide their true intentions by monitoring their behavior around others.

I do not think swearing makes you more honest, I just think dishonest people are especially good at creating facades. But the creation of social illusions is not always bad, especially if coupled with good intentions which lead to positive results. This approaches the actual topic at hand: the burden of honesty.

Honesty is certainly a virtue many at least pretend to strive for, but small lies occur quite frequently. It does not even need to be something like a compliment you do not mean or an incomplete response regarding how you are feeling. The world is filled with half-truths, and we create these frequently through communication, as almost no one can tell another person absolutely everything going on in their mind or the environment. Even if you are happily married, there is bound to be information you forget to share or simply gets omitted due to a lack of importance or the time needed to communicate. It is physically impossible for us to share everything about ourselves to another human being, and we cannot always control how this limited information is understood by others.

Both honesty and dishonesty are measured in value by the intentions behind them and the results they create. Honesty in itself is not a virtue. Some form of information will always be withheld, so what we are speaking about is really relative honesty. It may be good to avoid lies and deceit, but it is also not necessarily good to speak the full truth in all situations. And when we pursue honesty as a virtue, we stop analyzing our interactions on a case by case basis.

You do not need to tell lies (normally), but always speaking truth or always striving to (which can have adverse effects) creates an unnecessary burden on the individual. This is especially true if one feels guilty when a full truth cannot be explained, whether the person is at fault or not. Similar burdens are created whenever someone strives for an unreasonable goal, especially one that is unnecessary or extreme.

Virtues can all be taken to extremes. Patience is a necessary trait, but too much and you may never reach a goal or see a result. It is often said that cleanliness is next to godliness, but with too much of a focus on cleanliness you can create an obsessive compulsive disorder (or even develop a fear of germs). It is better to possess virtues than not, but only to a healthy level. Just make sure that level is such that the most good is created. Do not burden yourself with things that appear good but hold little meaning or benefit.

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